Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
