I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
