So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
