We're facebook friends in real life
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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