i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
