i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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