That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
