it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
