HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
