i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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