Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
