Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
