I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
