I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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