And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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