Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
