Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
