i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
