a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
