shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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