I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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