road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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