I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
