Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
