I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Randomize
