So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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