Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
