i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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