All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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