i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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