Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
