What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
