all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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