I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize