I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so let's talk penis.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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