margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
