my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
