question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize