if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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