worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
