you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
