Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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