Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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