..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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