Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
