It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
