What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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