you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He shit in the fireplace
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
