we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's never too late to be topless.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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