I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize