Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
