peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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