hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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