Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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