The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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