Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
