NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just cropdusted the office
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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