She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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