What tipped you off? The sombrero?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
