I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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