She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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