im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize