We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
