Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
