What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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