i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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