OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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