it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
