it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
