u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
