there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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