She said her name was "party"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
