Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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