I heard we made out
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
