I'm eating all of the evidence.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
