By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
