You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
