We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize