rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
