my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
