So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
