Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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