Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
